December 2, 2022

12 thoughts on “Electric utes will soon arrive in Australia

  1. So how are we going to have enough energy production when everyone goes electric? Coming from China they may have put in some secret tracking device.

    1. 1) we won’t.
      2) they will.

      The experience of the USA is that too many switching to EVs has been a disaster – for society and for the environment. Hopefully this scenario will play itself out before too long and common sense will return.

      The fact is, if you have petrol you can make electricity, but if you have electricity you can’t make petrol.

  2. The many limitations of electric trucks (utes) will be revealed. Not suited to Australias distances, lack of rapid charging facilities, lack of towing capability & high summer temperatures affecting batteries.

  3. OMG!!! SHIT, MOVE OVER FORD/TOYOTA/ RAM/CHEV (& ALL of those other FULLY IMPORTED UTE PIGS, ‘Coz we CAN’T Build ANYTHING here in OZ anymore), I Hope YA’ll Shaking in Ya Jocks! I got a Ute Here @ 80Grand (That IS, that YOU & I will have to ‘Earn’ AU$120,000, pay your 30% Blood tax to ‘Some’ Australian Govt Dept – Are ‘They’ Actually ‘Legal’ Yet? [ give or take a few Cents] on it, leaves you the residual 80K, THEN go & see 1 of the 4 Moronic Fraudsters – Disguised as ‘Competetive Banking’ [with the same 4 crews OWNING/Controlling, the 4 Major banks], to get a Commercial loan for acquisition > Using your ‘children’ & everything you ‘Don’t own’ as ‘Collateral Damage’ – Er sorry – Collateral. THEN, after All of That, Pay your Stamp duties/ Levies/Road taxes – AND- Your Ready to ‘Charge’!! – MAYBE!

    Bluey; “COR BLIMEY! SURE LOOKS GROUSE MATE! SHIT! JUST LOVE THA’ COLOUR! (Notice I spelled Colour WITH a Ewe – Sorry ‘U’. AND, reading the Fine Print after going to Spac Savers, it’s foreign Model shown on Ads – LH Drive.) Sorry > WHAT’LL IT DO TREV?”
    Trevor; “Well Bluey, this is Ya Top Class Wanna B’E’ Machine! When I Kick the Shit, It’ll drag the Juices from ya eye sockets Lickety Split! Turn Ya Depression into PROgression! This is Ya ‘E’ Type JAGUAR [1] for Genuine New Age Tradies [GNATS] > Just about, if you had wings you could fly! AND, it Bounces a 100 KPHr in 14 Seconds! Just slightly quicker than Grannies Turbo Intercooled Gopher with ‘ROIDS’ [1A]!
    AND, Screw Ya ‘Rangers’ Mate, This LDV [2] from SAIC [3] is capable of ‘Spanking the Monkey’ out to , OH, Somewhere out there!”
    Bluey; “Oh CO’N Trev, how far does it really go?”
    Trevor; “SHIT BLUEY, Don’t put me on the Spot Mate! A Quick Calc in me Cranial Blue! If I carry a ‘Partial Load’ – Being ‘SAFE’ [4] all round, I recon I could Have a half a dozen Jock straps, a fresh singlet, a tooth brush & 1 Tube of Paste, 2 Packets of Tim Tams for Emergencies, a Bog Roll – ALL in the Glove Box, A small shovel to go with the Rolls of Dunny paper, a spare pir of Sox & me ‘Angels’ CD, – I reckon I could ‘Stretch the range’ to, Maybe, Maybe 180K’s!”
    Bluey; “180 K’s, on a Full Tank? Fuckin’ Bargain Mate! SHIT! & SO CHEAP! Can ya Charge it at home?”
    Trev; “SHIT ME! Now I’ve gotta get a Sparkie over to see that I’ve Got enough Capacity & Load! Hey Bluey, Don’t tell Sheila That I’m running a Diesel GenSet in the Ute Tub to try & get Extra ‘Range’!”
    Bluey; “Isn’t the extra weight in the Tub from the GenSet, gonna Stuff up Ya initial range?”
    Trevor; “Bluey, Do ya wanna Buy a New/ Second Hand Ute?”
    Once again ‘MAN’ [5] tries to REinvent the Wheel = FAIL – As Usual. Maybe A.I. is ‘His’ next Best Synthetic/ Pathetic ‘friend’, to give the ‘DOGS’ a ‘Break’! “Hear Rover!” – “Sorry Idiot! ‘Rover’s been sent to Mars! –
    ‘Mars -Nevada, IN a ‘SHED’!” = ‘Capricorn 1’ – Lives! LOL
    Acronyms; [1] JAGUAR- Just Another GISMo Using Astronomical Resources.
    [1A] ROIDS; Real Optimised Interjecting Delivery Shit.
    [2] LDV Lacklustre Dumb Vehicle
    [3] SAIC Strategic Acquisition Insidious Communists.
    [4] SAFE- DON’T remind me of CON JAB-19 > SAFE = Send Another Fucking Expert.
    [5] MAN Manipulative Anal Nonsensical.
    Wellness to ALL ‘Progressive’ MAN. Please DO NOT ask me what WOMAN ‘Stands for’! LOL.
    Wellness. – take a Load off! LOL

      1. Poor Trev – Round # 2; – Grab a Cuppa.
        Promoted by RAC Auto OZ Et Al with ‘Support & ‘Sundry’ ; ‘As A. – Auto/Climate/ Holistic/ Human interface Inter-Spatial Group, WE, see the Neo ‘E’ of everything as the new Nirvana of Anti CO2 Deniers!’ – Apparently/ maybe.
        Note; Warning, Descriptive Adjectives in ‘Utes’ – Er sorry! – ‘Use’. But Utes, as well.
        Meanwhile, back at IT;
        Somewhere in an INContinence near You – THE Australian INcontinent will do !;
        Brrrr Brrr, Brrr Brrr;

        Systems A.I ‘Connect’; “Welcome to AaME! If EWE require Actual HELLp, press # 1, If You are outside the CBD & thus ‘the realms of Civilisation/Serviceability’ Press # 2. If You Require Info on your current ‘Access to the System’ for which you pay Excessive Monies – Currently before Crypto ONLY or Bank ‘E’ ONLY acceptance, prior to Service, visit 1 of our ‘CONvenient’ CBD Only centres for Biological DNA extraction or Iris Scanning or Finger printing Required I.D.2020 for ‘Access’, press # 3. IF you require a Carbon Based Life form for comms, this ‘Option’ is currently offline due to Corporate/ Shareholder profitability parameters! Press # 4 Anyway for a ‘Long Wait’ supported by ‘Elevator Music’. For ALL other Emergencies, provided your Mobile phone Battery life holds on, press # 5, & wait for Our dedicated staff @ our Mumbai tele centre to resolve your current ‘Issues’. This has been AaME, here to Serve & Support our Mutual TransHuman integration, whilst showing everyone our ‘VMF’ [1]!
        Trevor; ” Hello? Er Hello? ER HELLo?”
        Systems A.I. Connect [SAIC]; ” Good morning. Would EWE like to hear hOUR options again? Abuse & shouting will NOT be tolerated by our Co operative team. WE, are here for Your CONvenience. How may we help you Dear Customer? I am AaME, your Customer Support.”
        Trevor; “Um, I’m up SHIT Creek!”
        SAIC; “Apologies. Did you say Shipp Creek? Your INbuilt Vehicle Nav sat location, DOES NOT support this ‘described’ Location! We have you currently Near an offshoot of Lake Mungo, near a WOC formation.”
        Trevor; “Say Fucking What? I’m in a Fuggin’ Creek! & THAT’S A BLOODEY ‘ROCK’ FORMATION YA A.I. MINSTREL! ARE YOU TAKIN’ THE PISS? A WOK’S FOR BLOODEY ASIAN COOKING!”
        SAIC; “????. Trevor? WOC is the acronym for Walls Of China ‘Geological Formation to your East!”
        Trevor; ” DO I LOOK LIKE I GIVE A SHIT, OR SHIPP? I’VE GOT 1 OF ‘THEIR’ RUDDY (NOT Kevin – but probably Mandarin ‘flavoured’) UTES!”
        SAIC; “Well your AIDS facial recognition vehicle screen shows Stress & an elevated sense of Anxiety! How may WE help Trevor? Do you wish to listen to our Help Menu again, OR, do you wish to get help from our ONline Community?”
        Trevor; “GOD DAMN MOFO!! LISTEN! I,– AM, —IN, –A, FUGGIN’ CREEK!!!!
        IN, MY, BRAND NEW, EEEEEEEELECTRICk 4×4 UTE!
        I, —DO NOT, WANT, ——– YOUR PLAYLIST MENU,———- NOR YOUR LOCAL TOURIST TIPS! I, NEEEED HELP!”
        SAIC; “This is AaME. I am sorry Trevor, ‘Personal Help’ was not on our Vehicle support Menu. Do You require Assistance with Your Vehicle? Do you want to Replay the Vehicle assistance options again? ——— Trevor? ——Trevor?”
        (elevator music begins in background)
        SAIC; “Whilst you wait for the NBN [3] to Reboot because of ongoing Power Grid ‘Difficulties’, We noticed Trevor that you have Purchased 1 of the GNATS Eco future Vehicles, under NO circumstances Trevor, get your GNATS ‘Wet’! This includes TOO much washing – Especially Car wash facilities, Hosing of Electrics or Batteries, Excess driving in Moist Conditions OR Rain, AND Especially NOT Immersion in ANY form of fluids or Water. Where is Your Vehicle currently Trevor? —— Trevor? —- Trevor? Are you still running the Diesel GenSet in your GNATS ‘E’ 4×4 Ute Well Body Trevor? You may get ‘Connectivity’, by Engaging the Gen Set & standing on your roof, or Scale a Tree Trevor. Do you know Trevor, that this EXTRA Surplus ‘Weight’ will reduce your Vehicles main RORT! Trevor, IS this Genset, ADDED to your Policy disclosure declaration, or it may Negate ‘Policy Outcomes!. Have a Great Day Trevor, as 1 of our Valued customers & Corporate family members!”

        Ripita, Ripita, Ripita, dash 101, dash 101. Digitised file report to Main frame. = AaME filed customer support protocol = Successful interfacing with Trevor – Customer.
        Outcome = Issue resolved in Affirmative manner. No further action required. No Mumbai interfacing required.
        Ready status; Awaiting Next emergency customer.

        MSMedia; “This is your Evening News across Australia for ALL EWES Australian citizens. Tonight we visit Southern NSW near the Border Of Victopia, where 1 of the New GNATS ‘E’ vehicles has ‘Mysteriously’ caught fire in a ‘RARE’ [5] event. Local Bush Fear brigades were in the Local area, & sprung into action ‘Shorting’ after the initial Incident began! From our Eye in the Sky, News Chopper Bravo, you can see this live footage of the ‘E’ 4×4 Stuck in a creek bed, On fire STILL, even after being ‘Hosed Down’ with Copious amounts of EXTRA WATER for 12 Hours, by Fire crews, & in fact the Fire seems to have spread to the Neighbouring Bushlands, despite these frantic & Brave efforts of Emergency Crews! So it’s Over & out from Bravo News Air 1, & we return EWES back to the News Studio for another Bull Shit Fest & Manufactured Propaganda! Yes thankyou News Eye in the Sky! We have the Owner of this UNfortunate incident, Online, now that the NBN is ‘REconnected’, just a Gliche I’m sure, &, NO WAY attached to the GISMo factor? Moving on. Trevor? Are you there Mate? An unexpected Day in the Bush for You! I see you got out of the Tree!
        Anything to add to today’s Events?”
        Trevor Interviewed; “DON’T GET ME STARTED ABOUT ‘E’ VEHICLES! IT’S MORE THAN A WOK IN A TEA CUP!! — AND IT’S MORE THAN UPSET ME SINOsitus! AaME, here’s a RMF [6] —- just for You! And Ya ‘E’ Vehicles – Just SOOOOO WHATEVER!
        Excuse me Chief? can I borrow ya Mobile? Just need to make a quick call. Me phones run out of Battery Life on AaME, & I never even got to the Mumbai Chat session!”
        Brrr, Brrr, Brrr. Brrr – That’s for Everyone’s National 4Berrs.
        Trevor; “Bluey, can you pick me up in Ya Diesel Clunker mate?”

        1] VMF – Virtual Middle ‘Finger’ – FINGER Sub Acr. Fucking Integrated Non Gender ‘E’ Retrocide.
        2] AIDS Adaptive Inbuilt Dashboard Scanning
        3] NBN No Bloody Network
        4] RORT Realistic Operating Range of Travel.
        5] RARE Radical Anomalies of Rare Earths
        6] RMF same as VMF, but Real, ‘Inserted’ instead of ‘Virtual’.

        Wellness.

        1. Trevor; THIS is why I get SO very subtle with replies Bluey. Me previous ‘E’ ute, built by the SINOpsis mob. The devil’s IN the Detail! Take SAIC, Blue, here I thought SAIC [Science ‘Applications’ International Corporation] was Yankee & ‘Acquired’ by some ‘Group’ from Carlyle! With their ‘Previous Connections’ with THE Eternal Cabaret entertainer Duo, KISSinger & his offsider HalleBurton, I’m sure the New DODge rival will be better than my last ‘E’ unit! What do ya think Blue?”
          Bluey; “Dunno Trev. I heard that SAIC changed Names & are Now the ‘Leidos’ in their ‘Field’. Think they may have moved on from building Utes of any sort Mate!
          I also heard They were the kind of CONsortium that weren’t keen on Unions and plebs, More UPPER management types! So I guess they’d have to instigate some form of Advanced Digital Managements to Systemically Battle all sorts of Local & Global ‘Work’ Scenarios! Can’t be all too Bad, heard they’ve ‘Invested’ in a Level Plainfield project. Just what you’d be ‘Involved with’ & as Global Digitised Mercenary group, – Er ‘Security Group’, Er ‘Intelligence-Um Security contracting business, to balance Ya cred! Maybe they build Utes TOO! If they were Gonna build something, like a Ute, what about something trendy, like ‘Little Thermite’! They could ‘Sell it’ on the back of ‘MORE BANG FOR YOUR BUCK!’- 9/11 Style! Something with REAL Qinetiq’s, er Real Kinetics.
          Maybe Trev, you could try your Acquisition financials with BCCI, Not the cricket mob, nor 1 of out, sorry THE, 4 local banks!”
          Trevor; “Strike Me Bluey! What THA FU– are you on Mate? I’ve told Ya to stay off the Weed! Ya know when pHARMas UNhappy when ya don’t use THEIR ‘Endorsed’ Meds!”
          Bluey; “Sorry Trev, was the Ute question rhetorical Mate? Nah just went thru a detox Regime! You should ask your Misses, Sheila about it. She gave me the detox ingredients! Recon you should try it too! She new about the ‘OTHER SAIC’ ‘E’ ute, AND, the GenSet in the Back! In her words – “Being Full of Shit, a Detox would help him No End! Or his other, other End!” – Never judge a ‘Look By it’s Acronym Trev!”
          TWO SAICs – Both ‘State Players’ – Both sides of the Pacific. WHO builds the Better ‘Veiled Utility’?
          (Lay Zhang version of ‘Veil’ Not Incl.)
          And at least I didn’t drag the Almighty ‘Institutionalised’ IS into the ‘Game’ – For Christ SAICS!.
          Last; Trevor; “BLUEY? Check & see if the Vatican or FIAT’s got ‘Connections’ with SAICs!”
          Bluey; “Need some of my Detox Weed Trev? FIATs a Non Sensical Monetary System created from SHIT ALL, ISN’T IT?? YOU DO NEED A DETOX! – AND THEM & ALL!”
          Wellness as Usual

  4. If the Ford F150 Lighting is anything to go by if you actually put any real weight in them or tow any reasonable sized trailer the battery range of these vehicles drops considerably!

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